ugh

Well, that was up there in the most depressing last two months of bike racing I've had.  Much more awful than last year.

Quick summary of the racing:

I finally got back into racing by doing the Gresham Crit.  I didn't have much of anything for the final lap and got a horrible sunburn since I forgot to put sunscreen on my arms.  The Vancouver crit was particularly frustrating with one of our guys getting in a 4 person break just to end up 5th at the finish.  I was very frustrated with the tactics.  I couldn't do much at all and was tired.

The next weekend I decided that enough was enough with Therapeutic and rejoined Guinness.  Bike racing in the way that the leadership on the team explained it never made sense to me whereas it always did when hearing it from Klipper.  Furthermore, I felt like my attempts to form relationships on the team failed whereas I still had some kind of relationship with Klipper.  In the crit champs and then at the stumptown crit I finished off the back after getting unglued on the final lap in each race.

I did the state time trial and sucked fairly badly.  I did the bridge pedal again.

Eugene was pretty much the most awful weekend I had racing all year.  I was feeling so tired and stressed, had some issues at my host housing and then wasn't the lucky crazy dunce that made the break in Briggs Hill Road Race.  I attacked so stupidly from lap 3 until I couldn't attack anymore and had nothing to show except for nearly passing out next to the team van of my former teammates due to exhaustion - both mentally and physically.  The time trial was also awful.  I don't know my time because the results aren't posted online and because I forgot my garmin at the host house, but when 4 people pass you, you know you had a shitty time.  I was so mentally out of it that I nearly curled up in a ball and sucked my thumb, but ended up driving home skipping the crit.  To top the weekend off, I forgot to return my Zipcar which with the late fee will likely make that weekend cost over $500.  But on the bright side, I didn't break any equipment so I guess it was still cheaper than some races.  Once I got home, my awesome fiance cheered me up and validated my decision to not race when I didn't feel like it and knew I'd get my ass kicked and get beaten into even more of a pulp.

So with that, I'm done racing... at least in a serious way.  I don't think I've been more sore and mentally exhausted than I have before.  I could really use a break, but I'm nearly maxed out of vacation at work.  Oh crap, I need to go to work.