meltdown

Slowly but surely I've been heading towards an absolute meltdown. The strain of training, working and the rest of life has gradually been building and I'm pretty much running on fumes right now. I'm not one that would ever completely meltdown, I'll always keep trying, but sometimes I get to a point where I'm just not on my game in nearly every part of my life and that is where I'm at right now.

The highlight of this breakdown came today where I missed getting to PIR by 10 minutes. While not substantial this is THE SECOND TIME in a row I have managed to do this. I left work on time, but then procrastinated by sending out a message on an online dating site, lubing my chain by putting my bike in the bathtub and as usual forgetting where I put my phone right when I wanted to go. What started as getting home at 5:20 ended up being a hustling out of the apartment complex at 6:16 to try to get to the race at 6:35. That did not happen by a long-shot.

I think the majority of this disorganization comes down to not having a solid routine that gets stuff done. One of the bigger problems that result from this is my disgusting apartment. I literally haven't cleaned my room since I moved in in December.



That is what my room looks like. It is so gross, there are some flies flying around, I count 3 pizza boxes sitting around, and there are dishes that haven't been cleaned in weeks - maybe even months. It is so embarrassing, I will lose crap in my miniature 340 square foot studio. The latest is a $150 bib pant I think I have lost. I really don't know how I manage this, except I do - stuff doesn't have a set place in my apartment or daily routine in a larger sense.

This whole disorganization is bleeding everywhere in my life and I hate it. At work, it's not unusual but I've been assigned yet another task I am severely under-qualified for and I just haven't been able to crack out a decent solution in over 3 weeks. It's really getting on my nerves. In my training program I went through two weeks without stretching or doing core and I was beginning to feel it during Wenatchee. And to top it all off, I haven't been handling my unavoidable biological attraction to women well by spending way more time than I should to the point of it becoming an unhealthy addiction.

It's time to turn this around.

And to begin, I am moving. Oh man I am REALLY REALLY happy to be moving. I am so excited to have more than 340 square feet to work with. I'm also going to be moving in with another dude at the Portland Plaza.

This will be my first true downtown living experience and I'm so stoked. The first time I walked in I felt like I was back home at my Tacoma Condo. The place is on the MAX yellow line, across the street from a 24 hour fitness (so that will be nice for the winter) and has got the luxury bling all for a price less than what I'm paying right now in rent.

So this is my perfect chance to start anew and be clean and organized from the beginning. I'm set on having a solid routine where I get stuff done. This weekend can't come soon enough, maybe I'll start moving stuff tomorrow.